I feel compelled to write about the importance of unity and accountability in light of this past weekend’s assassination attempt of former President, Donald Trump. This post is not about my stance on one side or the other of the political aisle. It is not to state a position on gun ownership or spreading conspiracy theories. It is about reminding us that mature men must unite in love rather than being divided by hate. Men need deeper, more authentic friendships who hold each other accountable to avoid hateful speech, divisive positions, and actions that cause abuse, bullying, and isolation. We also need our churches to demonstrate love and not base their entirety on politics. We need to engage in fruitful conversation that are united in love; not divided by hate.
The Divided States of America
Even prior to this past weekend’s events, many people feel that the United States was trending toward being less united. Divisiveness is more pronounced between Republicans and Democrats. The gap between liberals and conservatives is extreme. We have heated arguments between pro-choice and pro-life beliefs. We argue over gun control amid the increase in murders, and the right to bear arms. There is no unified position on government assistance for the wars in Ukraine and Gaza, immigration, and climate change. The separation of church and state is blurred and religion is misused to gain votes. Sexual and mental abuse is on the rise. People disagreed vehemently on COVID restrictions, masks requirements, and vaccines mandates. We judge others about LGBTQ+ rights, race, social justice, and economic equality. Too many spread hate using violence rather than extending love and peace.
Fortunately, the vast majority of Americans, even those inflamed by partisan political passions. The majority do not resort to the violence, assassination plots, less-than-peaceful protests, insurrection, or threaten the lives of others. It is sad that we’ve lost the ability to “agree to disagree.” It is sad that we no longer live in harmony among our diversity of opinions that united our country for centuries.
The Sad State of Male Isolation and Suicide
Unfortunately, there is also a sad state of isolation and suicide among men. We don’t know, yet, the specific motives or mindset of the young male who attempted to kill the former President. Reports are he was bullied and become a loner, which is consistent among of many mass shooters in America. Many suggest loneliness is the reason why the suicide rate among males in the United States is 4 times higher than among females. Male deaths represent 79% of suicides, amounting to roughly 100 men of all ages who die by suicide every day.
As you know by reading my blog, I believe one solution is that men need better friendships. I wrote in Isolation and Temptations during Crisis and Caring and Connecting during Crisis, that all guys need other men alongside them throughout the journey of life. We need men who encourage each other and hold each other accountable to higher standards. We need more mature and godly men to mentor young males.
Do Not Be Alone
During a personal crisis, guys in particular tend to retreat to their proverbial “man cave.” to avoid stress and anxiety of a situation. Most of the time, its just way easier. But Scripture tells us that “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Most Americans recognize that something is awry with our time: the conflation of politics amidst the lack of belonging, identity, purpose and mission. Experts tell us that shooters and other terrorists tend to be lone wolves of a certain sort: those who are isolated in real life but find a semblance of “community” online, frequently in radical and radicalizing spaces.
I wonder if any shootings would have occurred if the guy had a genuine band of brothers? What would their life look like if he had other men who loved him enough to talk him out of his plans?
Do Not Fear
During times of crisis and uncertainty, godly men must do our part to be the calm people among the worriers. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to not be anxious or fearful but trust in God’s plans: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
For believers, our future is secure with Christ. To ease those fears, present your concerns over to God in prayer. Trust that He is in control, even when it seems the world is out of control.
Friends at Church Keep You Balanced
Whenever you are feeling isolated, out of whack in your opinions, or stressed by the current political landscape, please reach out to a close friend. Whether you are struggling with what you read on social media, or just feeling anxious and afraid of the current state of our country, please do not go it alone. It is way too easy to give in to hateful thoughts when you are distanced from others. Find yourself a small group of mature men and begin the hang out with them. They can help you come out of the darkness of isolation and sharpen your thoughts.
GodBuddies can also help your prayer and worship of God; something we all need during crisis and times of uncertainty. They will call each other out about hateful posts or inappropriate comments about others. They will understand your viewpoint and listen with judging or trying to change your mind. Godly friends will encourage you and pray with you through difficult decisions. They will keep you in proper balance.
Your local church also a mission in your journey too. It provides a different sense of significance, a different type of meaning, a different sort of belonging. It can remind you about humility instead of clamoring for our own glory or notoriety through heroic acts of goodness or notorious acts of violence. Your congregation embodies what it means to be a genuine community. It teaches that the glory of God in the love of Jesus. It teaches you to oppose hatred and divisiveness and to “Do all things in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14), not with hatred. Let’s all learn to love America again and love our neighbors just as Jesus commands us (Mark 12:30-31)!
Wisdom for Men is based on my opinions on topics that help men become better men. The sources used for these posts are not fact-checked, but support my theory that men are better with deeper, more authentic friendships. My GodBuddy theory is based on biblical principles but applies to all men, regardless of their beliefs. Better friendships among men will help solve the crisis of male friendships and many of today’s problems… because the world needs better men!
[Featured Photo by Brandi Alexandra on Unsplash]
