The more I read Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, the more concerned I become about the effects of smartphones and social media. As I explained in my last post, No Time for Friends, Haidt believes these have led to a decline in the average daily time we spend with friends; not just young people but everyone. In this post, I present his alarming findings on what is happening specifically to boys as they retreat into a virtual world. This is just another piece of evidence to further my case for 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships.
The Harm is Different for Boys than Girls
Part 3 of The Anxious Generation is titled “The Great Rewiring: The Rise of The Phone-based Childhood.” Haidt opens that section with a chapter on the Four Foundational Harms of this rewiring (Social Deprivation, Sleep Deprivation, Attention Fragmentation, and Addiction). He then follows with chapters on “Why Social Media Harms Girls More Than Boys” (Chapter 6) and “What Is Happening To Boys (Chapter 7). ”
Haidt writes that thanks to smartphones, boys and girls both started spending more time online starting in 2010. The data reveals that both girls and boys have become more depressed and anxious but boys and girls are affected by digital content differently. Each also spends their screen time differently.
Girls are generally much heavier users of social media, especially visually oriented platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, and Tumblr. Haidt suggests there are four reasons why social media harms them more:
- Girls are more affected by visual social comparison and perfectionism.
- Girls’ aggression is more relational.
- Girls more easily share emotions and disorders.
- Girls are more subjected to predators and harassment.
Conversely, boys and young men have followed a different path. Males young and old gravitated to YouTube videos, text-based platforms like Reddit, and especially multiplayer online video games starting in the early 2000s. The time they spend in the virtual world accelerated in 2010 with the 24/7 internet-connected smartphone.
The Long Decline of Males
Jonathan Haidt and others believe the decline in male mental health outcomes began long before smartphones. He draws on the same research from Richard Reeves, founder of the American Institute for Boys and Man (AIBM) and author Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It that I’ve referenced in prior posts. Unlike girls, boys have experienced a slow decline since the 1970s in achievement and engagement. Haidt restates Reeves’ contention, “The male malaise is not a result of a mass psychological breakdown, but of deep structural challenges.”
Haidt also believes the rise of “safetyism” in the 1980s and 1990s has played a role in this decline. It reduced the opportunities for rough-and-tumble activities and risk-taking for boys as playtime was shortened, pulled indoors, and over-supervised. As males collected more connected devices (gaming systems, tablets, smartphones), they became lost in cyberspace, making them more fragile, fearful, and risk-averse. This affected their mental health and drove them deeper into isolation which led to a staggering decline in close friends. It also leaves them with a lack of meaningful direction and a sense of purpose in their lives.
Figure 7.1 shows that boys more than girls report not feeling they have a chance at a successful life. This rate of hopelessness rose slowly from the late 1970s through the 2000s. It accelerated more quickly in the early 2010s as males began hiding in their virtual world. Many believe this correlates to higher suicide and depression in males.
Boyhood without Real-World Risk
Haidt also suggests we have created a world of “safetyism” which he describes as “the cult of safety–an obsession with eliminating threats (both real and imagined) to the point at which people become unwilling to make reasonable trade-offs demanded by other practical and moral concerns. Safetyism deprives young people of the experiences that their antifragile minds need, thereby making them more fragile, anxious, and prone to see themselves as victims.”
The author provides this analogy for safetyism:
“Imagine a childhood where all risk had been eliminated. No one ever felt the rush of adrenaline from climbing a tree when an adult had told them not to. No one ever experienced butterflies in their stomach as they mustered the courage to ask someone out. Picture a world where late night outdoor adventures with friends were a thing of the past. In this childhood there would be fewer bruises, broken bones, and broken hearts. It might sound like a safer safer world, but is it one you would want for your children?”
Haidt suggests most parents would say ‘No’ to that scenario. Yet somehow, something close to this is happening in the real world in which both genders are growing up. His theory is that a world with too much supervision and lack of risk is bad for all children.
But safetyism seems to have a larger impact on boys as demonstrated with a striking finding in Figure 7.2. Around 2010, the patterns of internalizing behavior symptoms (i.e. depression and anxiety) vs externalizing symptoms (drunk driving, violence, and drug abuse) changed in opposite directions for boys and girls.
Of course, better awareness of risky behaviors has led to changes in bad stuff teenagers do (they drink less, have fewer accidents & speeding tickets, fight less, and have fewer unplanned pregnancies). These are all good things.
But notice the rise in 2010 of internalizing symptoms, which Haidt asserts to smartphones and social media.
Are We Making Boys Too Safe?
Haidt includes data on unintended injuries (see Figure 7.4) that show a steeper decline for all males vs females, especially those ages 10-19 and 20-29.
Both pieces validate Haidt’s claim that males have become even less risk-averse over the years. He concludes that safetyism, coupled with the move to online gaming, followed by smartphones, has worked together to push boys away from the real world and into the virtual world, which causes further damage.
The Virtual World Welcomes Males
My next post will describe the negatives of the virtual world on boys and men. After that, I will provide other reasons to help further my case for 2025 as the year of better male friendships.
Read more about the importance of friends in my book, Get Out Of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship. Find practical ways to develop closer, more genuine relationships that help us become better men. While based on biblical principles and standards of living from Jesus Christ, the book is valuable to everyone. Get the ebook or printed copy on Amazon. Click here or on the picture to get a signed copy. I also offer discounts on bulk orders for your men’s group.
Thanks for your support!
As always, feel free to comment below and share this post widely.
[Feature Photo generated using Microsoft Bing Image Creator]
